Thank you Krommer.

NOTE: Personal epiphany occurred recently. It made me the happiest person in America today :) Read on if you're interested.


So. I found it. Yeah, I really think I did. It's a little thing called motivation. Motivation to practice. Motivation to study. Motivation to be the best Courtney possible. Motivation to work. Motivation to use time better. Motivation for a lot of things. It hit me today while I was practicing in a big room all by myself.

There I was. Little me and little instrument. Big ol' room. For not having practiced in about 3-4 weeks I was feeling like it was all hopeless. There was no way on this good green earth I was going to make it through one more useless day of practicing. Giving up was definitely on the menu today. It was definitely the no-matter-how-hard-I-try-this-will-never-sound-good thought process.

Know what I'm sayin'?

Well, when I played, my sound filled it all up. The whole room - it was amazing! I was sick of scales, arpeggios, thirds, fourths, sixths, rhythm patterns, etudes, solos, piano accompaniments, long tones, stop-tonguing exercises, hand stretches, reed breakage, reed warpage, old reeds, lightheaded-ness when I didn't breathe deep enough... you name it. But as my sound filled up that huge space, I realized it actually sounded... good. Yeah, it did. And I felt like things started coming back - the dynamics that tend to fly out the window when you don't work on them (especially a good piano), breath support, articulation, flexibility, tongue positions... shall we just say musicality IN GENERAL?!?

It was a wake-up call. This is possible. I can do hard things. Life doesn't hinge on one class in college and (thank heaven!) there are always times to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and try again. When something like this happens, there's no way I can go back to working like I did before. This term is going to pass through my life in flying colors. Four weeks to go and I think it's going to end up okay.

Thanks for experiencing my wake-up call with me through a blog.

Discovery!

I did it.

Rediscovering running is a beautiful thing after a long while of absence from the roads.

New favorite sound: good running shoe soles squishing against the pavement on a quiet road where you can actually hear it.

Sound weird? Try it. :)

Recognition

I have to write this down before I forget...

I was visiting my sister's family yesterday for the after party of Scotty's graduation. So, after Olive Garden, my niece Morgan wanted to ride with us from Salt Lake to her house in our car. We were chatting it up in the back seat (as much as you can chat it up with a 7-year-old...) and then the most amazing thing happened.

Dad turned on Classical 89, that blessed station that plays what I think are the most commonly played classical songs ever. But, to my surprise, Morgan pipes up, "Hey! I know this song! It's on a BARBIE movie. This is the part where Barbie is dancing..." and she goes on to tell me everything in the movie that is happening while the song is playing in the movie. She was so detailed and even sang along in her childish voice to the parts that were familiar to her.

Bless that little girl's heart, she made me the happiest future-music-teacher-in-America that day. I was able to have a teaching moment, telling her that "No sweetie, the song is actually called 'Swan Lake', it's not just the name of a movie" and about the composer. I was amazed how much that child was absorbing music.

This is the little first-grader who opened my music dictionary (with no urging on my part!) and was sounding out names of instruments. She read it like a storybook...

What a wonder.

I am so proud of my brother. See him? I think he's pretty much the greatest brother ever. Ever, people.

He's accomplished something HUGE, by the way. Can you guess?

Yes. He is going to graduate from the University of Utah tomorrow in Architecture! He's finally done it and I'm so happy for him to move onto grad school at the U. Even though it's the U...

All feelings aside about rivalry though... I can't wait for our family to get together and par-TAY because of this kid! Congratulations Scotty! I love you!

You're my favorite brother.